It is unbelievable how exhausted I am today. I (unintentionally) woke up at 7AM both Saturday and Sunday and was productive on so many levels, but I was able to catch up on some sleep with a few cat naps here and there. I worked out and cleaned our apartment almost obsessively, did all of the laundry and then finished up the weekend by spending way too much money at the grocery store (again).
I miss my friends. I miss the drunken/irresponsible nights that came so often with college and with living in Columbia. My rush to graduate and find a full time “big girl” job is now baffling to me and I often wish I would have taken the Van Wilder approach instead. Though I enjoy my job and the paychecks that come with, this whole full time, wake up at 7AM every morning is not as relieving as I think I though it would be. And while I love our new apartment that provides the convenience of living in walking distance to almost everything, I still miss Columbia and the drink specials that allowed you to spend only 10 dollars on drinks for the entire evening, and then 10 more at the beloved Diner that just happened to be owned by an old man that adored my grandmother that passed away when I was still in high school.
On another note, I went to the city market with Mamaw and Mom yesterday. None of us thought it would be open and were just driving by to make sure, but to our surprise there were tables full of fresh fruits and vegetables and little shops that offered some of the most darling merchandise. I wish I could put into words the love that I have for my mom and for Mamaw, but over the years I’ve come to realize that that will probably never be possible.
On another another note, Brandon and I watched “The Lovely Bones” this weekend. I expected it to suck, but (of course) I had to watch it just to see my Marky Mark for a good couple of hours. While the movie was much better than I thought it would be, it made me realize how badly I don’t want to die. After finishing the movie I thought about that in depth, about what would happen to my body, my mind, and my soul once I’m dead. After a while I began to feel sick to my stomach and decided that since I’ll never know for sure until that time comes, I might as well not worry over it at this point. Still, it is disheartening when one realizes that they are not invincible, and that anything could happen to any of us at any moment. Something anyone who has ever lost or almost lost a loved one can understand.
Well, I apologize for the jumpiness of this entry, and also for the morbidity—but cut me some slack, it’s Monday. And we all hate Mondays.
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